In those next few moments Tony already envisions how this will go. It becomes very clear. When Steve doesn't give chase to him, back him against something, argue with him- when he just sits... it all feels wrong. He half turns, glancing at him. Willing him- wanting him to fight. Because if they fight this will get resolved. Maybe they're ridiculous like that, but that's one of the things he loves about them.
And that's why he knows.
Steve points out the obvious, the little ghost whisper that Tony had had before banishing it. Yes. Steve could've destroyed everything. He didn't even have to bring him this at all. But, as Tony had said, he ran the risk of him finding out anyway. Even so.
He sees himself almost as a visitor in his own body. He sees the way he's doing what he always does. Breaking everything because he's hurt. Just destroying it and trying to close himself off in a last ditch effort to try and salvage himself. When he's doing all the damage. But-
"He killed my parents," the single sentence slips out of him when he doesn't know what else to do in a bitter yet overwhelmingly somber tone. Almost barely without any voice. More talking to himself than he is looking to incite Steve. His head ducks for a moment. He doesn't want this. How is he supposed to cope with grief he's never processed and deal with the fact that this is yet another lie told to him by people who were supposed to look out for him. How is he supposed to process the fact that his parents didn't die. They were killed. What is he supposed to do with that?
SHIELD covered this up, like they do everything. It's too bad they're gone. He wonders if Fury knew, too. Some friend of Howard he proclaimed to be. Peggy. ...did Jarvis know? Everyone. Everyone who was supposed to look out for him, failing him as usual. But.
Not Steve. Despite the risks involved bringing it to him he did anyway. According to him, the second he found it. Even knowing... even knowing what Tony's like. Probably knowing it would lead here. He still feels incredibly raw, in a way that only makes him want to push Steve out more. He doesn't want to deal with this, much less be seen with the damage it's causing to him. It makes him feel weak and unwieldy. Yet he turns, one step and then another in an almost shambling pace towards Steve, arms still tucked tight across his chest.
"Thank you," the two words are terribly quiet, sniffing a breath in afterwards. "He was- Howard was transporting that stuff for SHIELD. They knew. They covered it up." Just talking because he has to. "So. If you've got a line on Fury I'd like to know. Seems like we're overdue for a friendly chat." He has to put this ugliness somewhere. Someone has to pay for this. He has to fix this. Maria at least can't have died for nothing- just because her selfish, stupid husband couldn't put work down, couldn't get over himself for-
God. He and Howard really are the same person, aren't they? A realization he's been biting back for decades slamming into him like a ton of bricks. Visibly- like he's been hit as he turns away from Steve again with another shake of his head. It all needs to go somewhere. Now.
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And that's why he knows.
Steve points out the obvious, the little ghost whisper that Tony had had before banishing it. Yes. Steve could've destroyed everything. He didn't even have to bring him this at all. But, as Tony had said, he ran the risk of him finding out anyway. Even so.
He sees himself almost as a visitor in his own body. He sees the way he's doing what he always does. Breaking everything because he's hurt. Just destroying it and trying to close himself off in a last ditch effort to try and salvage himself. When he's doing all the damage. But-
"He killed my parents," the single sentence slips out of him when he doesn't know what else to do in a bitter yet overwhelmingly somber tone. Almost barely without any voice. More talking to himself than he is looking to incite Steve. His head ducks for a moment. He doesn't want this. How is he supposed to cope with grief he's never processed and deal with the fact that this is yet another lie told to him by people who were supposed to look out for him. How is he supposed to process the fact that his parents didn't die. They were killed. What is he supposed to do with that?
SHIELD covered this up, like they do everything. It's too bad they're gone. He wonders if Fury knew, too. Some friend of Howard he proclaimed to be. Peggy. ...did Jarvis know? Everyone. Everyone who was supposed to look out for him, failing him as usual. But.
Not Steve. Despite the risks involved bringing it to him he did anyway. According to him, the second he found it. Even knowing... even knowing what Tony's like. Probably knowing it would lead here. He still feels incredibly raw, in a way that only makes him want to push Steve out more. He doesn't want to deal with this, much less be seen with the damage it's causing to him. It makes him feel weak and unwieldy. Yet he turns, one step and then another in an almost shambling pace towards Steve, arms still tucked tight across his chest.
"Thank you," the two words are terribly quiet, sniffing a breath in afterwards. "He was- Howard was transporting that stuff for SHIELD. They knew. They covered it up." Just talking because he has to. "So. If you've got a line on Fury I'd like to know. Seems like we're overdue for a friendly chat." He has to put this ugliness somewhere. Someone has to pay for this. He has to fix this. Maria at least can't have died for nothing- just because her selfish, stupid husband couldn't put work down, couldn't get over himself for-
God. He and Howard really are the same person, aren't they? A realization he's been biting back for decades slamming into him like a ton of bricks. Visibly- like he's been hit as he turns away from Steve again with another shake of his head. It all needs to go somewhere. Now.